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Monday, October 10, 2005

Feebee - CD6

The mystery continues... I've had more pregnancy symptoms in the last 2 days than in the previous 2 weeks! Let me say from the outset that I do not think I'm pregnant, but the momentum created by the narrative of my situation keeps me skipping along.

We took ourselves off for the weekend to a farm by the sea, close to Rosslare. DS LOVES animals, so spent the weekend shrieking with excitement, as much at cats and birds as at goats and cows. We survived a restaurant (DS is 21 months, but fairly easy-going), and BD'd just for fun!!!

I mentioned a +OPK on Sat. It wasn't quite + but a fairly strong line. Had another one on Sat night, and, mindful of the fact that OPKs can test + for HCG, I tried again on Sun morning - a lighter line. Meanwhile, I had had fairly painful breasts all Sat night, and this continued yesterday. Interesting.

Brown spotting started yesterday morning, and has continued today. I tried another OPK yesterday evening and got a very faint line, so I don't think it indicates anything other than the fact that my system is out of whack. My breasts are still sore but not as much as they were yesterday. The only other symptom (of what?) I've had today is this - I was giving DS his breakfast when a huge wave of nausea came over me, I thought it would pass but it didn't and I had to leg it upstairs and ended up retching into the toilet.

Sounds good you might think, but there's more. I found another HPT. My GP gave it to me when she confirmed my pregnancy last month. I'd put it away and forgotten about it - felt like an alcoholic who'd just discovered a bottle of whiskey at the back of the wardrobe! BFN. As BFN as you can get. It did show a very faint line when I checked it about an hour later, but as I'm quite expert at analysing HPTs these days, I can confirm that it was an evaporation line.

So I'm (almost certainly) not pregant, and I may or may not have had AF. Because of this, I'm slightly concerned that I may not ovulate in the next few weeks, or if I do, I may miss it - I used way too many OPKs over the weekend! Will just have to rely on my old mate, CM, to keep me informed. Will let you know.


At 7:39 PM, Anonymous Lisau said...

But...I am gasp...44! I got pregnant at 37 & 40 and had healthy babies so if that is any comfort to you I am glad.

I have played the OPK & HPT games post cycle day 1. Especially last April after my miscarriage. I am sure that you still are a bit goofy hormonally now- & if you are anything like me some of this obsessing this may be a bit of grief still playing itself out-just be careful with it. I know for sure that I have been so obsessed because once I stop trying so hard to conceive
I have to deal with my loss-the long term reality of it.

As for your next cycle I conceieved my first 2 by CM alone & think it is a great method...that way you are trying before your surge & after & give yourself more chances.I had very erratic cycles too & still it worked.

If down the road you try temping (I hope you don't even need to & are successful very soon)it truely is useful tool- I hesitated to do it for the longest time because I thought it would be a pain-it is-but not too bad!
Personally, I will try for just a few months more as I do realize the reality of my situation(most of the time,anyway). Best of luck to you, I hope I do not sound lecturing because I don't mean to..you just remind me so much of how I felt & sometimes still do feel.

Take good care of yourself,

At 12:32 PM, Blogger Jetting Through Life said...

Don't you just hate your phantom pregnancy symptoms! It drives me insane! Gotta love the mind!

At 3:49 PM, Blogger Feebee said...

Lisa - I love the idea (seriously!) that I might still be TTC at 44.

I know that the obsessing is helping me avoid dealing with the reality of my m/c. That is ok as long as I have a reason to stay positive and look forward to the next cycle. Today (it is pissing rain here) I can't think of anything positive so have been thinking about my baby.

You don't sound like you're lecturing - it's good to hear from others who understand. I don't have any close friends who've been through this (don't even have that many close friends with kids), so I rely on my virtual friends!

JTL - love them and hate them at the same time!

At 3:51 PM, Blogger Feebee said...

Just re-read my message. I didn't mean that I think of the baby I lost as a negative thing, I don't at all. Just meant that it's painful and I try not to dwell on it when I'm feeling positive about TTC.


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