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Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Feebee - 19 DPO

AF still AWOL.

Called gynae to see if I should stop progesterone and she said to take it for another 7 days just in case. Just in case of what??? Just in case my spirit hasn't been completely crushed? Just in case our Christmas hasn't been totally ruined?

I repeat, I am definitely not pregnant. I have had several glasses of wine every night since Friday. I have also been ill over Christmas and have taken cough medicine, sinus tablets and whatever painkillers were available at a given time and place. I did not even bother to read the instructions re pregnancy. I have no symptoms of pregnancy, also none of AF.

And yet my gynae, with a sweeping generalisation, has managed to place the thought in my head that there may still be hope. My head hurts.


At 4:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's so hard when you know it's not going to happen but people keep telling you it's not over till Af arrives, it doesn't help to prolong the hoping when you're so sure yourself. It happened to me last month so I know where you're coming from.

At 6:05 PM, Blogger Sadie said...

hey feebee, sorry to hear that there is no news yet but you know its never over until AF shows her ugly face....you may remember Virgo took weeks to get the BFP so hang on in there....will be thinking of you...

At 6:05 PM, Blogger Sadie said...

hey feebee, sorry to hear that there is no news yet but you know its never over until AF shows her ugly face....you may remember Virgo took weeks to get the BFP so hang on in there....will be thinking of you...

At 8:23 PM, Blogger Feebee said...

Derv - you bad, bad girl! I've been staying away from MM cos I've turned into a bitter old cow and can't bear to hear about other people's BFPs any more!!!

Sadie - I do think about Virgo in the same way I think about Man Utd's Champions League final in 1999 (scored 2 goals in time added on to win the Cup) every time I watch a match. But these things only happen once.

At 10:24 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry Feebee, wasn't sure whether to tell you or not...bad call, sorry.

At 1:34 PM, Blogger Feebee said...

Oh it's ok Derv. Obviously I'm happy for them, especially as I know what they've been through. In fact I'm really pleased for both of them. It's just hard to be the one left behind when everyone is moving on and celebrating their good news, so I just thought I'd stay away until I've got over my Christmas headwreck. You can tell me your good news though, let me know as soon as you find out!

At 12:29 AM, Anonymous lisau said...

Hi feebee,
I hope your cycle has straightened itself out! Given that your progesterone level was so good when tested is it possible that the extra is what is causing this extra-long LP? Or is this a common clomid side-effect?Very frustrating! I'd see if if not this cycle but at least for future cycles if you could get a Beta run (around 12 dpo)& then if not pregnant stop the progesterone. I HATE waiting for AF when you know logically shes coming but can't give up that tiny bit of hope-then you are irritated at yourself for having that little bit of hope!

It may do you good to stay away from the message boards..I will be cutting back myself very soon- in my case I'm only in this for a few more months anyway,AND it is not encouraging to read a lot on over40 boards as so many miscarry or go years trying without success. I know enough real-life people over 40 women (including me!)who have conceieved to know that it is possible!

So..on the good omen side,if pregnant this baby would be due Sept 17th,the day my daughter Lily was born. I think I will have used up all my good omens if nothing happens this time.

We zipped in to Chicago for a day to visit my dad & stayed overnight..went out to eat,browsed a bookstore & went to the zoo...lovely family time. I counted my blessings.

I know that I have said this before but you have seemed particularly discouraged lately so I will be annoying and say it again...I do feel strongly based on what you have written about your Dr. appointments & your past history that you DO have more children in your future. I know from experience how hard it is to wait & how scary it is post miscarraige - it should be easier,like the movies & advertising.Unfortunately it isn't always so...but those of us who wait a little longer to be blessed treasure it all the more when it does happen, and it will happen Feebee,I truely believe it!

Take care,

At 5:32 PM, Blogger Linda said...

I feel like you are the person I am sharing the same brain with. My action were all the same over Christmas, I just cant take it anymore. I am actully going to sees a counsler cause my head feels so crazy, I held my baby cousin on Christmas Day and I just lost it- Went home and got drunk, I hardly ever drink, I dont like what this is doing to me it is not supposed to be like this.

At 10:53 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

God help me, I'm a sad case. 8 dpo & I have a sore boob so I took a hpt test, not surprisingly bfn - when will I learn - but boob (singular) is really sore. I was clutching at straws cos my pg friend came up to visit - She's expecting twins in April, and told us today they know the gender - one of each...not jealous of the twin bit really though.

At 10:58 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Meant to ask - did you keep on the progesterone?

At 7:13 PM, Blogger Feebee said...

Derv - a sore boob is a very good start, I don't remember you having any 2ww symptoms before...??

Lisa - I think Lily's birthday is a good omen. And I know you're right about everything, if I wasn't certain I'd have another baby I don't think I could get through this. I'm going to do as much as possible this cycle to try and distract myself from obsessing. And I will treasure it so much more than all the fertiles that get pregnant just by thinking about babies!

Linda - I really feel for you, I could never have believed the toll this could take on a couple's lives before it happened to us. I hope the counsellor helps and feel free to post if you ever want to talk.


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