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Friday, September 30, 2005

Feebee - 5 DPO

Delighted to report that I had to get up to pee at 4am. This could have been the fault of our wriggly DS, who joined us in the early hours and kept waking me up. Had crampy feeling with needing to pee at 4am and again at 7.30am.

Breasts felt achy when DS was climbing on me this morning, but still not sore to the touch.

Also pleased to find "creamy lotion" CM this morning. About 3 x 1 cm of it on my knickers and more when I wiped. Slight sort of sweet smell to it. There hasn't been much of it since, but it's always welcome.

I have to admit that I know HCG isn't produced until implantation, so I'm aware that my body is not undergoing any changes at the moment, even if I am pregnant. I also realise (and this was pointed out in a comment yesterday) that my early boob ache could have been a leftover O symptom. However, some women swear they felt different right from O, so who am I to ignore hearsay???

I was asked yesterday when I plan to test. Well, my first scan was supposed to be on Thursday 6 October, so I think I'd like to know by then. It will be CD26 and 11dpo. Last month I saw my first very, very faint line on CD22, 7dpo. Four days and several HPTs later I finally got a line strong enough (but still fairly faint) to convince myself I was pregnant. Don't want to put myself through that again. However, I am a HPT addict and could crack at any time!

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Feebee - 4 DPO

This morning started off pretty much as yesterday did - not tired, not hungry, didn't need to pee during night (although had needing-to-pee pain when woke up), CM disappearing and no boob pain. Was exhausted again last night though.

Felt slightly weak on the way to work, in a low-blood-sugarish sort of way, a feeling I usually get about a week before AF is due. It's also the only symptom of AF that I get - have never noticed sore boobs, bloating, cramping or any symptoms others report. It didn't last long, so I'm hoping it isn't related to the dreaded Aunt Flo.

I ate my lunch at 11am! Couldn't wait - it was sitting here beside me, taunting me and I just felt SO HUNGRY. Still am, wondering whether I should have a "lunch" lunch now. This isn't like me, I don't even snack most of the time. I haven't had any of the achy hunger pains I got when pregnant though, just couldn't resist temptation.

Thought I felt the ache behind my boobs again this morning, but it's gone now.

Have started to consider how I'll feel if I'm not pregnant. I've been so focussed on getting pregnant this month as a way of dealing with my miscarriage, that I haven't allowed myself to think that it might not actually happen. What will I do? Will be devastated, but suppose I'll just keep on keeping on. At least I'll get another month's use out of this blog!

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Feebee - 3 DPO

Well folks, it's all gone Pete Tong. I have absolutely no symptoms today. Not tired, not hungry, no sore boobs, didn't have to go to the loo during the night, and most disturbingly, CM seems to have dried up almost completely.

Now, I know it's too early to be obsessing, but on my last pregnancy I had creamy CM (see 1 DPO!) throughout the 2ww. In fact, I thought I had discovered the secret of the 2ww. All I can hope now is that I was wrong, and that each 2ww is different. Not what we want to discover in the whole big scheme of things, but in my micro-2ww it would make me happy.

A small bit of good news is that I was fairly exhausted yesterday evening, but still managed to stay up until about 11.30pm, so maybe not as exhausted as I'd have liked!

I did also get a little misty-eyed thinking about nice (personal) things on my walk into work this morning. Can't remember if this is a good thing or not, but it did make me smile.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Feebee - 2 DPO

I'm fairly relaxed today, haven't been googling "2dpo symptoms", haven't been having any crazy 2ww fantasies.

I wasn't particularly tired yesterday, but exhaustion hit me hard around 10pm and I could barely speak. Could be the result of work + toddler. Have been pretty alert and focussed at work today though.

Had the ache behind my boobs again this morning, but can't seem to get it now no matter what angle I sit at or how hard I push against them.

Much less creamy CM today, but still a little. Same as colour and texture as yesterday but only about half as much.

Woke up starving this morning, even felt a slight bit nauseous before I ate. This was the sign that convinced me last time, so am putting a lot of weight on this "symptom" this time. Am starving again now, but have worked through lunch so not significant.

I said yesterday that I would tell warts and all, so I am probably obliged to mention that I had a bit of a dodgy tummy around lunchtime, followed by a trip to the toilet for a loose bowel movement! All was well soon after.

Monday, September 26, 2005

Feebee - 1 DPO

We have been TTC No 2 since May 2005. DS was conceived straight away, so we took a fairly relaxed approach for the first month - DH was convinced his super-sperm would be all the help we would need. When super-sperm failed us, I jumped head-first into the crazy world of TTC and the all-encompassing obsession of the 2ww. They say there are no guaranteed symptoms on the 2ww, but I say millions of crazy ladies would beg to differ. In fact, they would beg and plead and scour the universe for just one tiny, negligible little symptom; CM, twinges in abdomen, sore boobs, crying during Eastenders - it's got to mean something!

So my plan is to keep a diary of the 2ww signs and symptoms, ups and downs, BFNs and BFPs, so that crazy ladies the world over can find some symptoms, some patterns and some comfort in the TTC endeavours of others. If you're interested in writing a TTC diary starting any time from 2 weeks from now, I'd love to hear from you and please get in contact - either leave a comment below or email me at fionasoundout at hotmail dot com.

Let's begin...

1 DPO. At least I think it's 1dpo. Sadly, I had a miscarriage at 5 1/2 weeks on 11 September so I'm not sure if my cycle has returned to normal yet. We were determined that the only way to cope with what happened was to get pregnant again asap, so I treated the first day of bleeding as CD1 and did an OPK on CD8. I was very surprised to get a faint line, as I only ever got one faint line before an LH surge. I was even more surprised to discover EWCM and O cramps the next day, and decided to proceed as though I was ovulating and BD accordingly. EWCM and cramps continued, no more lines on OPKs until Saturday when I got a very strong line. Hmmm, maybe first line was a false alarm, so am now assuming that I ovulated on Sunday, which brings us back to 1dpo......

Would you believe me if I said I had sore boobs already? I'm going to try and be very objective, so I won't report any imaginary symptoms. My boobs are not sore to the touch, but there's a slight ache BEHIND them. I remember this from my pregnancy last month, although it did not happen so early. They're not sore in any other way though, no tingly nipples, no large veins.

I have a little "creamy" CM (also had this last time for entire 2ww). I think I should state here, for the record, that on this site there is NO SUCH THING as TMI. We want as much information as you have, every little detail counts - if there's some globular brown stuff on your pants, please let us know! If your poo is an odd shape or texture, please tell us!! There's nothing (no, nothing!) worse than trawling through pages and pages of 2ww wait symptoms, only to find one that slightly matches one of yours. Yes I had a little bit of brown gunge when I wiped yesterday, but tell me how much, what texture, did it smell, what did it look like??? So, back to my CM - it's a creamy colour, it's thicker and more solid than any other CM I get, and there's about 2cm x 1cm of it on my pants. And it doesn't smell. Well, not from a distance!

I haven't been tired today, but I do have a feeling of heightened senses. The colour of the sky grabbed my when I was walking to work, and I found myself studying people's faces, trying to figure out their stories. Because of this feeling, I've been finding it hard to concentrate today. Maybe I'm just weird.

And that's it. No cramps, no twinges, nothing else. I don't temp, so can't tell you about that. Just feeling very positive, convinced I'm pregnant already. Sure, you gotta have something to get you through the 2ww.