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Wednesday, February 15, 2006

A far cry

Does anyone else cry all the time or is it just me? I cry most of the time I'm on my own and in a safe place. I cry every morning in the shower, for example. I range from quiet sobbing to violent wailing, depending on cycle day. Although I have become accustomed to my tears, I am growing tired of them, as they no longer signify a discrete period of emotional stress. I am bored of crying. I wish I had another safety valve I could access instead. I am not interested in destroying objects, or in hurting others or myself. I know I should take up yoga, but it's not an immediate hit. I need something I can do instantly, without leaving DS on his own for long, every time I hear hopelessness at the door. I'm not big into chocolate and I don't smoke. Any ideas?


At 1:36 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Masturbation? ;D
Derv (the perv)

At 5:10 PM, Blogger Feebee said...

On top of the twice a day routine I have DH on??? Suppose I could give it a go.

At 8:42 PM, Anonymous lisau said...

I'll take them..the tears I mean...I am a represser, if it is about someone else, or a movie, or a book it is EASY..my own pain I keep in a little box in the back of a closet. Not a great way to go either..maybe we can meet in the middle since neither of us is doing ourselves any good. I am optimistic by nature & don't really want to change that but sometimes it is good and neccessary to let it out...just maybe not quite so frequently as you Feebee ..since it's done helping...just don't give it up completely.

While your friend Derv's suggestion is undoubtably stress reducing, ;) ..it may not be practical ,eh? Tea? You must like tea says the American! Let me think on it...
my ultimate stress reducer is a creative outlet...I think you need to get out of the house on a regular basis to do something enriching just for you.
Take care,

At 9:48 PM, Blogger Feebee said...

Lisa - I usually go and bang on the piano or put on music and dance madly, doesn't really stop the crying but it does make me feel better. Not very practical for work though.

I don't usually cry much during the middle 2 weeks of my cycle. It's just at the moment, being at the end of a cycle, it feels like it's all the time.

At 3:54 AM, Anonymous lisau said...

End of the cycle madness..if we could harness the collective energy spent & time spent analyzing whether or not we might be pregnant on any given cycle we women who are trying to conceive could rule the feaking world.It drives me mad & then I get pissed off at myself...feel so calm week one & one half (early O has it's disadvantages)then O.k for about 5 days post O then it begins, fed by too much reading of early symptoms which I never have anyway. We need to figure out how to deal with this better, the both of us. I for one,need to get back to drawing & painting..not just jewelry-making for no profit & only some satisfaction. You write so well Feebee, what about getting back to your poetry?
I know with drawing & painting after time off a lot of it is crap for a bit but after awhile I see something worth working for. I am sure it is the same for you.

At 1:16 PM, Blogger Feebee said...

Lisa, I get sooooo annoyed with myself for not channelling my energy into something creative. But I've always found I work better when I'm calm and relaxed, and just end up churning out cliched crap when I'm feeling down. My background is in music, although I don't work in it any more. In fact I'm more likely to be found playing Teletubbies or Postman Pat on the piano these days. I have started writing a bit more recently, mostly fiction, so we'll see how that goes. So you start painting and I'll keep writing and this time next year we'll be artists again!

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