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Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Top 5 message board untruths:

1. Until AF arrives, there is always hope - FALSE!
If you are 20dpo, have no pregnancy symptoms and have had a series of negative HPTs, then you are NOT pregnant.

2. Early response HPTs will detect pregnancy 4 days before period is due - FALSE!
They may detect pregnancy at 10dpo, although 12dpo is probably more realistic. If your LP is usually 10 days, they will not detect pregnancy at 6dpo.

3. Spotting in the LP is probably implantation bleeding - FALSE!
It is most likely the start of your period and if you look carefully you will see that you are past 12dpo and therefore past the implantation stage.

4. Spreading "babydust" will help others become pregnant - FALSE!
There is no such thing as babydust.

5. It will happen for you sometime soon.
It may never happen for you.


At 4:20 PM, Anonymous lisau said...

Hey Feebee,
Probably about 100 more untruths...I chart at Fertility Friends & follow the "Waiting to Test" threads- a habit I will break one of these days. There you have women posting shots of HPTs that clearly are negative and desperately asking others "Do you see a line?" and like The Emperor's New Clothes it always follows that many will say "Yes,I see it!"!
It even happens that someone will ask AFTER they have had AF & their temps are a bit screwy..."Could I be pregnant?" & there are always people to say they bled through their entire pregnancy.

Now this isn't to say there is evil intent on the part of people encouraging hope or stupidity on the part of those clinging desperately to it, but it is an unhealthy relationship. I have been guilty of being on both sides of it.

It would do a great service to ennumerate a big list of these fallacies & distribute them en mass, however those trying to conceive their first wouldn't believe them anyway-no innocence lost yet. The worst for me are those who seek reassurance while bleeding during pregnancy because again,I want to post hope but know it can easily go the other way. I personally have seen the miracle of a heartvbeat after awful cramping,clotting & bleeding and a loss after minor brown spotting. The big truth is there no certainty in anything relating to conceiving.

Seems a bit gloomy but that is why we look on our children as the wonders they are. Our true "everyday miracles".

As I am at the far end of the TTC spectrum and am facing a bit of reality I am trying to figure out how to streamline our finances in such a way to make adoption a real possibility. It seems a shame that it takes so much money to help out a child but that is the way it is.. I have been looking into adopting from Guatemala. Their babies are in foster care before adoption so tend to be very well taken care of.I am actually getting quite excited about the idea regardless of whether I were to become pregnant. One way or another we will bring another child into our family. My son Max was peeking over my shoulder as I did some research and is over the moon at the idea.We have the love & energy...just need the money & approval.

Didn't mean to babble at you FeeBee,glad your sleepy DH was up to the task...you can't wake my DH with a cattle prod once he is out like that.As always wishing you heaps of luck,

Take care,

At 4:05 AM, Blogger Beth said...

Hear, Hear!

We must all do our part to debunk the myths held true by the naive.

Watch out for that babydust...its ricin.

At 3:05 PM, Blogger Feebee said...

But Prop - oh to be naive. Well, naive and fertile.

I have to admit though, I still test early, hold out hope even though I'm spotting, and believe every month that it's going to happen. Until I get to about now (5dpo) when I start to dread, dread, dread the end of the cycle.

At 3:17 PM, Blogger Feebee said...

Lisa - when I was younger, in the days long before TTC, I always thought that I'd love to adopt a foreign orphan. I imagined my own 3 or 4 kids and then one or two adopted gifts, when the others were a little older. Since I've been facing the slight possibility that we might not have any more of our own (I know we probably will!), I've brought up the subject of adoption only to be stopped in my tracks with a firm but forceful "No way". DH thinks he could never love an adopted child as much as he loves James and it wouldn't be fair on him or the child.

Now this has made me consider my own feelings on the matter, and I can't guarantee that I would love an adopted child as much as I love James, and that scares me.

After reading your message last night, I decided to sell it to him (and myself) in a different way. I said, when our child(ren) is/are a bit older, and we don't want to put ourselves through this TTC hell any more, would he consider adopting a child from an orphanage, in order to look after it and give it a better life. Not as a substitute for having our own, but something we could do in our 40s whether we have any more children or not. He said he'd consider it when the time came. A significant step forward methinks.

At 6:08 PM, Anonymous lisau said...

Hi Feebee,
I think that everyone who has a biological child first wonders if they could love an adopted child as much.Of course,many parents wonder if they could love a second biological child as well as they love their first!

I think we have an infinite capacity for love if we are open to it. Once you are the primary caregiver for any child,you realize the trust they put in you, the fact that their physical development itself relies not only on nourishment from food but from the love that you give them -that you can make them blossom-I think loving becomes easy & natural, you give love & your "reward" is a healthy,growing child who loves you in turn.

My children that I have birthed are so different from each other in many ways-the common link is kindness,humor,curiosity & nurturing. An adopted child will bring new traits as well but share our families values & priorities. I think my country in particular, isolates itself from responsibilities to the world at large. Maybe if many of us adopted children from other countries,visited them & truely learned about other cultures we would feel more responsibility to be a proper world citizen-to pay attention to the environment & be an example for peace.

Blithering again,I know....sorry- bad habit!
I am researching places not so expensive to live-where we are now is great but way too expensive for a teacher/artists family! I want to get things in order so that I can get cracking on the adoption & if I were to get pregnant so much the better...6 kids sounds reasonable!

So you are in that crazy dpo time....I so dislike that second week. Wishing you good luck!Happy weekend,

At 4:34 PM, Blogger Feebee said...

Lisa - you sound like you're planning to go ahead with this very soon. How long does the process take in the US? It's up to 5 years here so it can be an agonising ordeal for couples, not something you want to take on if one party isn't fully committed. I'm not sure I'll ever talk DH round, not sure I have the energy. I'll give it my best shot though.

Am trying to ignore the DPOs this time round, esp as I've absolutely no symptoms as usual.

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