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Thursday, March 16, 2006

No sex please, we're Infertile!

Remember a couple of weeks ago, when I was congratulating myself on not having a "real" fertility problem? Well, seems the celebrations were a bit short-lived. DH's SA results were bad again. Very low motility - 8% category A and 32% A&B. Unlikely (although not impossible - it has happened before) that we will conceive naturally. He has to see a urologist, and if he can't be fixed, then we'll need treatment. The secretary in the fertility clinic was very evasive and wouldn't give me any definite answers, but it seems we are talking about IVF.

I don't care about the expense (I should), I don't care about the physical trauma of the treatment (will also have to have lap and HSG). I do care, however, that it is going to be months before anything will be done. 2 months until urologist appt. 2 further weeks until next fertility clinic appt. More time for lap and HSG. And then the final wait for whatever treatment is decided on = no baby until at least summer 2007.

My poor little fella will be 3 1/2 by then. He loves babies and is very gentle and caring with them. He knows that friends of his have brothers and sisters, but has not yet wondered why he doesn't. Originally we wanted a 2 year gap. Between each of our 4 children. As time went by, we settled on a 2 1/2 year gap for starters, then 3. Of course this would mean speeding up the process of having subsequent children, but we accepted that we no longer had control over the procedure and vowed never to use contraception again. Now we are just hoping for another child, by whatever means possible.

I still believe that we will have more children, but I accept that there is a possibility that this might not happen. Did I say accept? No, what I meant was, I understand that statistically it does not look great. However, I will not allow us to become one of those statistics, that is simply not an option for us.

I have started the adoption ball rolling. I know this is another long, dark road, but it is one we are prepared to travel to build the family we've wanted for so long.

So, things haven't gone according to plan - what do you do? Well, options have be reassessed, plans have been reformulated, and hopes and dreams are now being realigned to the new emerging timescale.


At 2:34 PM, Anonymous lisau said...

I am sorry for your news. It is ironic,over here in the states we admire national health care so much that sometimes we forget the downside-those long waits. I know that those results are depressing-although you have had 2 conceptions - hopefully the urologist will be able to help.
You might try him on supplements in the meantime as it can't hurt. CoQ10 is in the vitamin/supplement catagory & is good for that & is an all around great supplement. If you'd like I'll post on Mothering as the ladies there may know more good supplements.

As far as the spacing issue goes-that is the one thing I wouldn't worry about. If you could see Max with Helena or Nick piggy-backing Lily...love will be there no matter when your baby comes. I know that it is hard when you have those long held dreams but I could show you some
pictures of Max and Helena that would literally make you cry there is so much love & there-he is herchampion,and there is 5 years between them. It's the wait for YOU thats the tough part.

You will have a baby one way or another-maybe luck will be in your favor & you won't need the extras-maybe it will be with assistance or adoption. Focus on that as best you can when times are tough.It's feeling lack of control over our destiny that is the hardest I think.
Let me know if you want me to post for you,

At 4:27 PM, Anonymous Amber said...

I really would not worry about how your children are spaced out. When ever they appear and whatever gap you have will become the best gap and the most logical gap for you in the end.
I am close to a couple whoses first baby was born 8 years ago, when they were very young and unprepared and they recently had their second......they were trying for four years and you know what to see that little boy with his baby siter is magical.
I always wanted 17 months between my two as that is what there is between my sister and I but needless to say you cannot plan for that sort of thing.
Another way of looking at those results is now at least you have a diagnosis and you know what you are trying to 'fix'
Don't loose all hope just yet....
Take care Amber from MM

At 1:55 PM, Anonymous lisau said...

Hey,Lisa again. If I am too cheery sometimes feel free to belt me. Had a depressed mom so my nature is always to cheer.
Sometimes I know people need to say..F-ck this & have a good screech.So do that but know I still feel strongly that in the end you will have your wonderful family.
Take care Feebee,

At 12:05 PM, Blogger Feebee said...

Lisa - I believe you! Cos you are always right.

I've had DH on zinc, selenium and folic acid since before Christmas, and CoQ10 since you mentioned it after his first SA in January. Doesn't seem to have helped, although it will probably take some more time. I would appreciate if you could ask about supplements though, as there may be something specific we should do for those numbers.

I would love to see more pics of your kids.

Amber - I know the spacing doesn't really matter, just another thing to obsess about. I am consoling myself now with the fact that DS gets all our attention, when we expected to have a new baby by now. And as you said, we can fix the problem now - hopefully we can give IUI a go in the next few months.

At 11:27 PM, Anonymous Treelo said...

Hi Feebee, sorry about DH's results, but as you say, at least you know what you are dealing with now. Who knows, miracles might happen while you are waiting for one of these appts? I also firmly believe you will have more children, I can not see you having only one child, it's just so hard for you to not know WHEN. Hopeful as always for you honey,

At 9:28 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Feebee, I've been following your blog since you first started the 2WW. I know exactly what you're going through. We just got DH SA resuts today and it was 8% morphology and 40% Motility. My gynae led me to believe these weren't too bad!! We conceived naturally ourselves nearly 2yrs ago after 3mts ttc but unfortunately our DD only lived for a few day.This time it's taking longer. He said it could be a once off and we've to repeat the SA again in a couple of mts and that's it's not uncommon to have a bad SA and then get a good one if you know what I mean. Have you heard word back from your urologist yet? Are you sure IVF is the only route left for you to take? I've started DH on wellman today so hopefully in 3mts it'll improve his swimmers. Take care and I hope you get your much deserved BFP soon.

At 3:52 AM, Blogger Beth said...

Bugger about the bad news. These waits are so difficult to bear. Thinking of you.

At 12:22 PM, Blogger Feebee said...

Thanks Treelo - looks like we'll be TTC together.

Anonymous - sorry to hear about your results and so sorry about your DD. Hopefully you'll see an improvement in 3 months - well, hopefully you'll have a BFP by then! This was DH's 2nd SA and results were slightly worse than before, but have only had him on vitamins for just 3 months so maybe there will be an improvement next month.

Thanks Beth.

At 1:57 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Best regards from NY! »

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