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Tuesday, May 02, 2006

A new waiting game

We had our first adoption meeting last week. It was an information meeting that people must attend prior to getting application forms. I'd like to say that it was the first step onto an exciting new path to becoming a parent, but it just felt like the same shit, new queue; two year wait for this, six month wait for that.

There were about 50 couples and several single women, anxiously waiting to find out how much longer they must put their dreams of parenthood on hold. There was a presentation on the whole adoption approval procedure, but most attendees had little patience for the administrative details; it wasn't long before hands started going up - how long for this, how long for that? I could see the speakers becoming irritated, but they must have seen it all before.

Here we are, in a room full of predominantly infertile couples, who have been waiting for referrals, waiting for appointments, waiting for results, waiting for treatments, waiting for a miracle, and we all know that we need to quantify our next endurance test. We need to pin down the exact number of months (cycles) this will take, so we can measure out our lives appropriately. So, break it down whatever way you like, but please just tell us when we get to hold our babies???

Three and a half years (and rising all the time) until we can apply to an overseas adoption agency. Up to another two years after that, depending on the country chosen, before we get our babies. The domestic adoption list in Ireland has been closed for 3 years, nobody giving up their babies these days.

But we're in the system now. Our initial application will be processed in about 2 years' time.


At 8:16 PM, Anonymous Lisau said...

Wow Feebee! That is so strange, I don't understand why
the process should take so long. Is it regulations on Ireland's part? Here it is literally one year from start to finish in some countries (such as Guatemala).It sounds like an extraordinary amount of red tape. Is there anyway around it? There is a good site called Adopt.com you might look at.
I am truely sorry if that is just the way it is and it can't be changed,I don't mean to add to your frustration..just was hoping it couldn't be true. Reguardless getting the process going is good.

I don't know exactly how to handlle it on our end. We probably will have to wait a year to begin since we won't have the finances for a couple of years to complete it.
I have GOT to do something on my end to help too.

I hope that you are able to get some answers at your appointments. Your vitamin regimen with DH should
show it's results by then. If you do go the IUI route you will be in excellent company, I know it's no ones first dream of how to conceive but it does have great results for women of your age (not so much for my end of the spectrum,at this point only donor eggs would help me & frankly,I'd rather adopt & take care of a baby in need than do that.)

Feebee,as hard as things have been for you lately there is a light at the end of this tunnel-you will make it happen one way or another & that child that comes to you will be a lucky one as you will have fought so long & hard for her or him. I absolutely believe this,
take care & big hugs,

At 10:21 AM, Blogger Feebee said...

The initial 2 year wait is purely because there is a backlog of applications and not enough staff to deal with them. The following year and a half is taken up with training courses and interviews, which is fair enough. I also hold a British passport so am going to see if there is any way I can do it through there. Maybe we'll come to the US for a year and come home with a baby!

Are you still actively TTC? How do you stop??? It will be a couple of months before we can organise an IUI - I wish I could stop until then, but no chance.

You've always said I would have another child and I believe you. But can you look into your crystal ball and see if I will have another 2 or 3???

Good luck with your adoption plans. We will have to start making financial plans too, but it seems so far away, I'm sure we'll have won the lottery or something by then!


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