And now for something completely differentIt's big, it's fat, it's positive and I can't believe it.
After 17 months, MFI, one miscarriage and an IUI, I've finally made it.
I've wondered for a long time how I'd feel, whether I'd want to hide away until the 3 month mark, or whether I'd just be so happy I'd want to tell the world.
Well, here I am. Exhausted, delighted, and overwhelmed. And so, so happy. Not sure it's sunk in yet, although for the first time in over a year I feel relaxed, and not at war with the world. Got a text earlier from a friend to say that his girlfriend had just given birth, and it didn't make me want to vomit or hurl myself out of a window! In fact I was really pleased for them. In one short day, my whole life has turned around.
I thought I might be terrified, given what happened to my last little baby. But no, I'm just happy to be pregnant. I know well how fragile this is, and how easily it can all be taken away, but I know now that I can get pregnant and that's the most important thing for now.
I feel very, very lucky. How many conceive on their first IUI? It breaks my heart to read some of your blogs - why should I be so lucky when some of you have suffered so much? I will never forget what I've been through, and I won't forget those of you that are still suffering.
To those of you who have helped me through, you are so important to me and I can't thank you enough. I want nothing but good things for all of you and hope you will stay in touch.
Now, must sort camera out so I can post the proof.