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Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Yep, there's definitely a baby in there

I am starting to believe I may have a baby in the not too distant future. I've allowed myself ponder the necessity of a double buggy, and have wondered if I'll manage to finish my PhD thesis by next March (yikes!). Yes, the scan went well, and each day that passes I have become more accustomed to the idea that this might actually work out.

My obs was fantastic and did everything she could to put my mind at rest. She did a belly scan, but all we could see was a blob, which she was happy with, but sent me for a transvaginal scan to help put my mind at ease. The yolk and sac were measuring fine for my dates based on IUI/O (due date 31 March) so I'll stick with that for now. There was no fetal pole, although the midwife pointed to what looked set to become the fetal pole, and told me that it looked very healthy (bet she says that to all the girls). She said it looked like the heart would start beating in about 3 days, so I'm back in on Thurs to make sure. Obs will scan me every 10 days after that until I get to 12 weeks.

One interesting point: a nurse took our details before we saw obs. The first thing she asked me was how I was feeling; I said very nervous. She went through our history - live birth, m/c, and it was only when I mentioned IUI that she said, "Ah, I see why you're so nervous". I think they see m/c's so often that they start to think of them as a normal pregnancy event. To be honest though, I'm not that afraid of m/c - I'm bloody terrified of another bout of infertility though.

Just had to run off for a bit and am back now, reading my last sentence. No, it's wrong. I couldn't bear to lose this baby now, it's brought me so much hope and helped me feel human again. Yeah, I no longer just want a baby, I want this baby. Oh god, I've become attached.

Had a great holiday (went away for the weekend straight after scan), apart from a nasty wasp sting I sustained as we packed the car to return. Arm swelled up and still have a 2-inch sized itchy lump. Not dangerous to the baby, despite what the Internet says. Not many symptoms to report, but this time I'm glad. Am more tired than last week, boobs slightly sorer and feel a bit yucky if I don't eat for a while, but that's it. Roll on Thurs.


At 5:32 PM, Blogger Becki said...

wow, this is so good to hear! The fact that you will have weekly scans is sooo great!

At 12:08 AM, Anonymous lisau said...

Hey Feebee,
Your writing rang true today & I feel the same...
I want THIS baby. When I first became pregnant I had the odd thoughts of.."If it doesn't stick I'll have another chance this summer & with the extra (theoretical/mythical?) post MC fertility." Of course for me the clock is booming too! Anyway, like you I am attached..& it is good.
No guarantees but we never have them with ones we love..we love for loves own sake.How empty life would be if we didn't allow ourselves to do that.
Taking a day trip to Chicago on Thursday but will check in late,
Lisa (wonder how "other Lisa" is doing? Maybe with a new baby!)

At 3:28 PM, Blogger Feebee said...

Becki - yeah, was so relieved, and didn't even have to ask for them, obs suggested it.

Lisa - I think the best thing about becoming attached is that the fear of infertility eases. Not the fear of m/c, but the fear that I may never get to experience this again. And to think I may one day get a baby too!

Other Lisa - are you still reading? How are you?

At 6:29 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


I just realised that most of the blogs taht yours links into (and ofuse now you) are pg. I hope it I will soon be able to say ALL the blogs. Wishing all o you a H&H 9 months (less than 9 for many). Really gives one hope that maybe there is light at the end of the tunnel.... 2 cycles and Im already going crazy... roll on to cycle 3...Not temping with as much vigour this time!


At 3:11 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yay Feebee!!!


At 8:56 PM, Blogger Feebee said...

NYC - frustrating as it is, I think (hope) your obs is right. Do you have any reason to believe there might be a problem? I'm not trying to tell you to relax, and I understand how you feel as I started to get impatient/insane after a few months, but I'm hoping you've just been unlucky for the last couple of months.

Your right, after Jenny's great news yesterday, there's only one blog in my list still waiting for good news and please god she'll get that soon. When I started out Tertia was the only one to have got to the other side, hope it gives people hope.

At 5:57 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


Really does make me so happy to hear that so many people have moved over to the other side!
No reason really to believe there is a problem other than the fact that cycles have been long (32-35) days and ovulating late. In my first two pgs I had cycles of 25-26 days but somewhere without my noticing they seem to have gotten longer. I have had mild multicystic ovaries (diagnosed at age 15) but that never affected my first two pgs at all. So I really hope youre right. Though it does not make the wait any easier!



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