Hardcore, you know the scoreI start the BCP as soon as AF arrives with an early Feb date for egg collection. I feel a little startled, a tad bruised and a tiny bit unsure. I know IUI didn't give us a baby, but it did get us to 12 weeks and if I wasn't impatient and impetuous by nature then I'd probably give it another chance. But there is a far bigger mental barrier for us to overcome - if we start straight away then we won't get to try out DH's new improved sperm and it will feel like everything he went through was a waste. (DH had a varicocele ligation - removal of varicose vein from his testicle - during the summer while I was pregnant.) At the time we were doing it for the future, for subsequent children, and that is still a valid justification for doing it, but what if it is good enough to work now?
Ho hum, bring in the big guns or keep living the dream?
The process of IVF isn't that big a deal to me. If someone had offered it to me 18 months ago I would have grabbed it. Apart from ovarian pain, I haven't suffered side effects from Clomid, Tamoxifen, FSH. I don't feel any stigma attached to anything that we have to do to have a baby. The financial side is a concern, although not prohibitive. It's just, well, I was really looking forward to giving this cycle everything we've got, the old-fashioned way.
Of course we could take this cycle off, do our thing, and go for a March/April date instead. But I'm on the train now, maybe I should just stay on for the ride, keep the momentum going. And if it doesn't work, we will still have super sperm to look forward to.