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Saturday, January 13, 2007

Bring it on

I've decided to come clean. I've been humming and hawing to myself and to everyone else for the past week, hoping to keep a low profile and to keep my options open. Well it hasn't worked, so here goes.

Having decided to take a cycle off, I spoke to my current clinic again about IVF a couple of weeks ago and was given some provisional dates for March. In the meantime I had an appointment with my old clinic with a view to doing some natural IUIs before we commit to IVF. My current clinic doesn't do unmedicated IUIs and seeing as it worked last time, we thought we might give it one last shot. There is no scientific reasoning for why a natural cycle might work when 2 medicated ones didn't (although I can come up with some convincing arguments, I can probably justify every failed cycle for the last 2 years if I try hard enough) but we are desperate people. The reason I decided to have 2 clinics on the go at one time is not because I wanted to be sly or manipulative, it is because we are confused, scared and we JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

We agonised over our decision and in the end decided to do at least one more natural IUI before committing to IVF. I called my current clinic to break the news that we would be postponing our IVF cycle and was told that the phone conversation we had the previous week where we discussed dates had constituted a booking and that we would have to pay 1200 quid to cancel those dates. I wasn't sure but when I spoke to DH we did agree that we didn't have a fucking clue what the right thing to do was, so we might as well go with the flow and take the IVF dates.

So unless I conceive this cycle, we will be doing IVF in early March. How do I feel about it? A little bit down, a little bit scared, but mostly relieved. No more messing about, straight to the hard stuff. I'm not over-confident that it is going to work but I'm not terrified of failure either - I'd give us fairly good odds of conceiving, not so great of going all the way. So it may take a few goes. Maybe I get to skip straight to Veteran IVF Barbie? Maybe I'm being too presumptuous. Maybe there's still a lot further to fall.


At 5:39 PM, Anonymous Discreid said...

It's been hard and 2006 was very hard. But you spent a quarter of it pregnant. And you spent a quarter of it fighting with inadequate services. Ok, so that's half a year! This year, there'll be no fighting. This year, there'll be no messing around. This year, you do, finally, know what you're doing. This is a good year to have a baby. Good luck.

At 7:07 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

As they say in the classics....everything happens for a reason......!!!
Thinking of you and keeping everything crossed!
This is your year!!

At 12:27 AM, Anonymous lisau said...

Hey there Feebee,
I have been having the worst luck with the site...for awhile I couldn't get the comments and a couple of times I could read but not post replies...anyway hope this one takes!
The motility is great, almost like starting over TTC-wise. I would think you have a decent chance natural but the IVF might do the trick faster. All in all lot's of reason to be hopeful,

At 12:58 PM, Anonymous amber said...

I think it sounds good to be going for the IVF, as a clueless individual whose only knowledge is gleaned through reading your blog and TTC forums that means shit but hey it is certainly a move in the right direction.
No more waiting around you will be doing something positive and that has got to be a good thing.
Fingers crossed for you.
Thanks for congrats re sister, she is back in hospital, going to see her at lunchtime.

At 6:35 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

IVF isn't so bad. Don't be scared. Maybe you won't even need to deal with it if you conceive naturally.I'm sending you all the hope and strength I can.

As for me, it's California, here I come. My egg retrieval is hopefully on the 22nd. Our transfer(IVF)is tentatively set for the 27th. Send me sticky vibes ladies. :)


At 7:00 PM, Blogger Feebee said...

Thanks for the support everyone.

Heidi - best of luck for next week.

Lisa - great to hear from you! How are you?

At 9:00 PM, Anonymous Artblog said...

Good luck! Hope it works for you :)

At 11:57 AM, Anonymous Dorra said...


Wishing you all the luck in the world. You have been through the mill last year. It can only get better from here.



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