No greater loveI had my first scan today. I had to bring our signed consent forms back to the clinic, so we went through them late last night. The first three sections were easy - if we split up, I get any frozen embryos; if either of us dies, the other one gets them. We had to think about the next one - what happens if we both die?
I had thought previously about what would happen if we had embryos left over at the end of our baby-making days (highly unlikely, I still dream of 4 children). I wouldn't have them destroyed, so the decision is between donating them to science and to another infertile couple. In the past I have found it difficult to imagine "my" children living with another couple, but this is obviously compounded by the fact that most of "my" children do not yet live with us and may never do.
But hold on a minute, we are dead. Our children are still alive. Another couple is still going through the daily devastation that has ripped our lives apart over the last two years. There could be no better home for our children than one that has been ready to welcome children for years, no greater parents than ones that will go to these lengths for their children.
The scan went well. I am fully downregulated, officially in menopause. Tomorrow I start Puregon and Luveris injections to stimulate my ovaries, Heparin injections and Aspirin and Prednisolone tablets to prevent miscarriage, and I continue to sniff. So far, so good.