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Thursday, March 22, 2007

What a difference a day makes

Yesterday my HCG levels appeared to drop. A new batch of internet cheapies arrived in the post and I had to pee. Only the faintest line after 10 minutes. I was filled with the fear, waited a couple of hours, same thing, line even disappeared when test dried. In a fit of numb rationality I called the clinic to organise a backup plan. The nurse agreed that it looked like I was losing my babies and I booked a review for 1 May with a view to doing the flare protocol and going to blast.

I tested again, got a slightly better line and tried to be positive. Another test, another disappearing line. By the time DH got home I could barely stand up, my body was aching so much. I held my pee for another 4 hours, tested again and got a better line, although not better than the previous ok one. Went to bed.

This morning there is a line. Slightly lighter than last night's and took the full ten minutes to come up, but crucially I suppose it is there. My head is the most wrecked it has ever been. If stress really did cause miscarriage then my babies would be gonners for sure.

Update: I caved and did another HPT. Much better line. Not as good as Tuesday's but a lot better than yesterday's. I don't know what happened to my HCG levels yesterday, maybe I lost a twin, but it looks like they're rising today. Some of you suggested I ask my clinic for a beta (they don't do them routinely). I will if tomorrow's test is inconclusive but I just don't want to put myself through it if I am happy with tomorrow's line. If all is well in the morning I just want to chuck all the remaining tests in the bin and stick my head in the clouds for the next 8 months. Thanks again for all your support.


At 8:13 AM, Anonymous Treelo said...

Oh no Feebee... Hang in there honey, it could just be dodgy cheapy tests not being as reactive as a clear blue? I have everything crossed for you, I am WILLING those babies to snuggle in...

At 8:49 AM, Blogger Derval said...

Oh come on you babies, hang tight, you couldn't be in a better place.
Sending you good vibes.

At 9:43 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hang in there Feebee.
Praying they hold on.
New Lad.

At 11:24 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Feebee, try to get some space from it all otherwise you will drive yourself demented. Go out for a walk, or have a sleep. Go and do something that means you cannot test for a while.
Willing your littles ones to hang in there.

At 11:49 AM, Blogger Red Mum said...

Your head must be done in, try not to worry, though I know it's easier said that done.

I have everything crossed for you.

At 12:34 PM, Anonymous Dorra said...


Take it easy hon, rest up and stay positive.


At 1:15 PM, Anonymous amber said...

Hang in there, must be torture for you.

At 1:20 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You poor thing - hang in there. Thinking of you.

At 2:32 PM, Anonymous Sky said...

From what I have read, internet cheapies aren't half as reliable as the more expensive chemist purchased tests. Crossing my fingers for you and the little ones.

At 2:38 PM, Blogger DD said...

Why would your nurse say something like that w/o having you come in from a confirmation blood test (beta)? Are you scheduled for one?

I'm sorry that those tests are wreaking havoc on your heart. I'll keep you in my thoughts.

At 2:57 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Feebee, would you not try a digital one again with FMU - instead of those internet cheapies. Please God everything will be OK. From what I have read the cheapies are not very reliable - especially at your early stage. Am thinking of you and have everything crossed for the best possible outcome.

At 3:18 PM, Anonymous lisau said...

I agree that you need Beta blood tests..it's the only thing that is accurate at ths point and the only thing that tells you increased or decreased HCG for sure as opposed to normal variations in the HCG present in urine at this point.
You shouldn't have to deal with this when there is an easy way to real information,
Thinking of you and your babies

At 5:30 PM, Blogger Carol said...

Yes - you need blood tests. You can't judge the strength of a pregnancy based on the darkness of a line on a pee test. Make them give you a beta hcg.

At 11:12 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Go for the beta. At the very least, it will hopefully put you out of this misery.

This kind of torture sucks.

At 5:37 AM, Blogger Adrienne said...

A pox on those internet cheapies. They can't be trusted.

Do whatever you need to do to make yourself feel better about all this - if that means a beta ASAP, then get a beta ASAP.

Sending positive thoughts your way, Feebee.

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