Learning to live with itToday is the first anniversary of our second child's due date. I should be running round like a blue arsed fly (with a bump?) making cake and getting the house ready for an influx of toddlers. Part of me feels ripped to pieces but most of me just feels, yeah, whatever. It's just one of many dates that I could beat myself up over - miscarriages, due dates, failed treatment cycles, birthdays, Christmases, Mother's days, they're all reminders. But so is every pregnant woman that walks in my line of vision, every child that has a sibling, every bit of "good news" that happens to someone other than me. So what's the point?
A lot of people who haven't been through what we have talk of guardian angels that protect them from harm, a god that makes good things happen to them. Good for them, but I don't have that - I take on that role myself. We aren't going to have a baby because an angel in heaven is looking down on us; we will have a baby because we will keep trying every avenue that is open to us until our baby arrives. And then we will do it all over again!
In the meantime we have a life to live. Lots of things to enjoy and look forward to.