You just haven't earned it yet, babyBaby is gone. I'm heartbroken. I really, really loved this baby, could touch it, smell it, feel the letdown as I fed it.
I tried everything to hold on to my baby - Heparin, Prednisolone, progesterone, aspirin, high dose folic acid, acupuncture, hypnotherapy, visualisation, PMA, rest, relaxation, hoping, praying, begging, pleading. I visited our babies' grave and asked for guidance but couldn't help feeling that they might be wondering why this baby should get to live when they didn't.
All I can do now is pray for an early bleed so we can try again. Are you looking at me with pity? What chance does the infertile woman who's had five consecutive miscarriages have?? Why can't she just be grateful for what she's got??? What doesn't she just adopt????
When we started IVF, my doctor said to me "Brave women are generally rewarded". So we'll keep going.