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Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Fortune favours the brave, dontcha know?

People often say that I am brave. I think it's because no matter how many times I am knocked down, I get up and start again.

Other people think I am foolish, that it is time to stop and get on with my life. They don't leave comments on my blog, but I know they're out there.

Regardless of what camp they are in, what many people don't understand is that I do this because I have no choice. It is neither bravery nor foolishness that drives me. It is the overpowering love for the child I have, the ones I have lost and the ones that I cannot imagine living without.

Some people say things like "I could never have gone through what you have to get my children". All that means is that they didn't have to. How do they know they wouldn't have done it if things had been different? Nobody can say what they would or wouldn't do in a situation until that situation is forced upon them. When I ask those people what lengths they would go to to save the lives of the children they have, they say "Oh, but that's different". Why? Because your children lived longer than mine? Because you never before had to contemplate living without them? Don't people understand that the pain of infertility IS the pain of losing a child, over and over again?

Infertility was always my greatest fear, a Von Trapp sized family my greatest ambition. If we stop now, we'll never get to play the Salzburg Music Festival.

8 Comments:

At 1:15 PM, Blogger DD said...

Yes, yes, yes!

 
At 6:19 PM, Blogger Adrienne said...

It is the overpowering love for the child I have, the ones I have lost and the ones that I cannot imagine living without.

Beautifully said. And oh so very true.

 
At 10:03 PM, Blogger Shelli said...

From one brave one to another...

the truest words ever spoken.

 
At 2:15 AM, Blogger My Reality said...

You said it well.

 
At 10:27 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Beautiful words Feebee. And I'm looking forward to that trip to Salzburg. Hugs.

Dee

 
At 1:33 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

sorry Feebee but i disagree with you. you do have a choice. you might feel like you dont right now. but you do.

 
At 3:39 PM, Blogger Feebee said...

Anonymous - I don't understand your comment. You're saying that you disagree with the way I feel - how is that possible?

I take it from your comment that you have been through infertility and/or recurrent miscarriage and I appreciate that you were able to make the choice to stop trying. But that was YOUR choice.

Like I said, the only option for me is to keep trying until I have my children.

 
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