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Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Proper pregnant?

I am pregnant, I'd even go as far as to say that I am proper pregnant. What is proper pregnant? It's when the lines on your HPT get darker over time and then after about a week, you stop testing and start counting down the days until your first scan.

I am 4w5d. I said that 5 weeks was the holy grail, that if I could reach that milestone then maybe I would be in with a chance. Please, ahem, allow a lady to change her mind. Six miscarriages can tend to make one quite confused in the head. And I have become a CRAZY LADY. To quote my husband, "insane". And there is little chance that two more days will change that.

I have to believe that I still have a chance but no, I just can't get my head around the idea that you get pregnant and then you have a baby. I know other people do it all the time, they conceive and then what seems like a few weeks later, they have a baby - a real, live newborn baby. The thought is beyond a dream for me. But the alternative does not bear thinking about.

So I am going to close my eyes and put my fingers in my ears and sing a happy tune for as long as I can. No more testing, just breathing - in, out, in, out.....

29 Comments:

At 4:56 PM, Anonymous Sinéad said...

Hang in there missus... am really hoping it all works out.

 
At 5:09 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Am crossing fingers and toes for you Feebee - Bekim x

 
At 5:33 PM, Blogger Derval said...

Atta girl. One day at a time.
Your post gave me goosebumps.

 
At 6:07 PM, Anonymous Treelo said...

I've Goosebumps here too honey. Hang in there, I've got everything crossed and my breath held that this is one you get to bring home...

 
At 6:12 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hang in there- one day at a time!!! Insane is the new black! I am hoping and praying for you...strong lines, preg symptoms, bump, goosebumps, new born baby and beyond.

dee1 (MM)

 
At 10:12 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Feebee, sending serious sticky vibes to you, i log on often to see how you are doing and have always admired your strength and courage, i hope and pray that this little one is on its way guided by your seven angels
xx

PM (MM)

 
At 10:52 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

After 5 mc's over the past two years...I am just waiting for a success story..c'mon give it to me. Same boat as you, have a son (5 1/2) my miracle,just can't get my eggs to sober up and create a normal embryo. From one Irish -Dubliner woman living in the US, I am pulling for you across the pond. Slainte!
Denise

 
At 10:19 AM, Anonymous KC - MM said...

Yes you are proper pregnant. Still thinking about you and sending positive thoughts and vibes to your little bean. I don't normally pray but I'm praying for you now.

 
At 1:27 PM, Blogger Bea said...

Rise, rise, rise! Just in case you do go back to testing... I did a peestick at 5 weeks or something and it was *fainter* than the 4wk peestick, yet my beta had risen quite a lot during that period. Which, um, is meant to calm you in case it isn't exactly darker next time you pee, but will probably just freak with your mind even more. Sorry about that. But very good luck!

Bea

 
At 2:27 PM, Blogger niobe said...

I'm breathing right along with you.

 
At 9:53 PM, Blogger ManicMammy said...

Congrats Feebee. Am keeping everything crossed for ya. Go girl.

 
At 10:10 PM, Blogger singletracey said...

Everything is crossed for you!!

 
At 10:44 PM, Anonymous tiredmam said...

feebee, I've been thinking about you over the last few days, praying your little bean grows from strength to strength.

I'm delighted to read that the lines are becoming darker. Thinking of you

Tiredmam

 
At 10:30 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hang in there! Keeping everything crossed for you. I know exactly what you mean when you say "I just can't get my head around the idea that you get pregnant and then you have a baby." It has yet to happen for me too, but I'm not going to give up hope.
Every good wish and positive vibe,
Jane

 
At 10:44 AM, Blogger Elly Russell said...

Congratulations! I pray that it sticks for you this time.

I know how you feel as I've lost 4 now. last one was at 22 weeks.

May all our dreams come true.

xxx

 
At 11:04 AM, Blogger Feebee said...

Thanks everyone, your support really does help me.

Bea - that is good to know thanks. I'm not sure I will have the stamina to test again before my scan (which is surprising - I am a peestick addict) but if I do I will have your advice at the forefront of my mind.

Elly Russell - I am so sorry to hear that. I can't believe some people have to go through so much. I really hope things work out for you this time. And the same to Denise, Tiredmam and Jane - hopefully we'll all be out of here some day.

 
At 2:10 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Holding my breath for you.........
Here's hoping this is the sticky that brings back the real 'feebee'

Newlad.

 
At 2:17 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think I am holding my breath since I saw your Facebook status update. I really hope this is a sticky and you are in my prayers.

Hugs and love

Anita

 
At 2:21 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, Congratulations, Just sent a pm to your magicmum account. That is amazing news hun xxxxx

 
At 2:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

FeeBee
So so delighted...will keep watching out for u
Wildhoney (mm)

 
At 9:06 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Look at that, I am off for a bit, and come back to check on you and you're fecking pregnant!!!!!!!

So pleased F; every strong sticky vibe in the world, and lots of love too..

Ex

 
At 10:02 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good Luck Feebee, Have everything crossed for you!
Ams

 
At 6:57 PM, Anonymous Tiredmam said...

Feebee, hope you had a nice weekend and that your little bean is growing from strength to strength.

Tiredmam

 
At 11:39 PM, Blogger peep said...

God I hope things are going well for you. Thinking of you often!

 
At 8:19 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Absolutely over the flippin' moon and back delighted for you.

Holiday pregnancies have always brought luck to me, and I just know this will be the same for you.

denzo mm

 
At 8:20 AM, Blogger Chili said...

Still keeping everything crossed for you!

 
At 3:31 PM, Anonymous Treelo said...

Hope things are still going well for you and baby, any idea when you will have first scan?

 
At 3:53 PM, Blogger Feebee said...

Thanks so much again girls.

Treelo - next Monday. Yikes!

 
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