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Monday, December 24, 2007

To absent friends

This year there will be four empty places at the dinner table - our 19 1/2 month old, our 9 month old and our newborn twins. And the others that couldn't make it in order to give this baby a chance. Happy Christmas my darlings - I love you and miss you all.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Digital Media Awards


I have been shortlisted for the Best in Blogging category at the Digital Media Awards. Sharing the honours are:

Head Rambles
Ice Cream Ireland
The Limerick Blogger
The Humble Housewife

Monday, December 17, 2007

Normal at last

Baby was alive and kicking on today's scan. Well, was actually asleep for most of it but definitely alive. All is as good as it can be. And the best news - "this is now a normal pregnancy". Now, if a normal pregnancy is one where the nursery is decorated and the birth plan is written by six months, then this is never going to be a normal pregnancy (my birth plan will probably be: get the baby out alive by whatever means necessary). But if normal means that my baby has as much chance of life as any other 16w3d baby, then that's the best Christmas present I could hope for.

In other good news, my nausea has reduced to negligible levels, I can stay up until midnight at a push, I have started to put on a few pounds and I have a definite bump. My god.....................I am pregnant!!!

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Hope and hapiness

Sixteen weeks tomorrow, I can hardly believe it. All is well and I am the happiest girl in the land. I did have a brief panic last week and decided not to post about it. A lot of close family and friends now read my blog and I didn't want to worry anyone.

All that happened was that I lay still one morning for about an hour and couldn't feel the baby moving. Went about my business and came home with some niggly doubts in my mind. Lay down again for another hour or so and nothing. Tried again later, nothing. Shed a few tears, went back to my (home) office, couldn't quite stop the tears and before I knew it I was back at the bottom of the pit of infertility, crying and wailing like a pro.

I chilled out a little the next day but didn't quite get my groove back until junior started bouncing again the following day.

So, once an infertile, always an infertile? Well that is certainly true but does it mean we can never enjoy pregnancy like normal people? I don't think so. It is terrifying at times but it is also the most fantastically wonderful feeling in the world and I can't stop smiling when I'm not crying. Pregnancy is so important, so special and so worth waiting for. I know it will upset some people to read this and that is the last thing I mean to do but I just wanted to reassure those that are still waiting that it does make all the badness go away.

And I am so proud of myself, for getting through everything, for keeping going when many thought I should stop, when even my doctors didn't know what to do with me. I knew it was the right thing to do, the only thing we could do and when I hear my DS talking so excitedly about the baby (it will be a girl and he will call her Josie or Annie) all the time, I can't imagine what a loss it would have been if we had given up.

I know I am talking like a woman who thinks she is going to have a baby. I know it's not that simple, I know there will be dangerous times ahead. But I have to be optimistic, to enjoy this time that we have waited so long for. And maybe there will even be a baby at the end of it.

Sunday, December 02, 2007

Free to good home

42 x Cilest tabs

30 x 50mg/1ml ampoules Gestone

9 x 5ml vials Heparin (25,000iu in 5ml)

2 x 10g bottles Suprecur containing 15mg Buserelin

54 x 1.5g Ametop gel tubes + 94 dressings

84 x 2mg Estrofem tabs

17 x Cyclogest 400mg

30 x folic acid 5mg

If you want any of the above, email me your address and I'll send them on.

So, yes, I have finished most of my meds. Will be staying on aspirin and Naltrexone but it's bye bye to my lumpy, bruised and battered belly. Will be holding my breath for a while, probably (hopefully) for the next six months.